After reading the book, You, Inc., The Art of Selling Yourself, by Harry Beckwith and Christine Clifford Beckwith, I was impressed with the simple ways the authors communicated the major point of the book. The main point the authors drive home very well, is that in business, what your client are really buying is you. And what you are really selling is yourself.
One of the key areas the book addresses is the necessity of becoming a good listener.
The authors relate the story of a colleague who attended a party. After the party the women their colleague had spoken to sent him an e-mail of thanks that stated, “I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation.” After learning about this women’s comments, the fellow indicated the in the 50 minutes or so that they had talked, he spoke for not more than one minute. The point: listening well makes you very interesting to people.
Listening is not as simple as it may sound. It is a complex process that involves hearing, understanding, and analysis. This will require conscious effort – it is not a passive act, as many seem to believe. You should make sure you are aware of both verbal and emotional data that is being communicated. This will require you to “read between the lines,” as the old saying goes.
So what are some simple ways you can become a better listener?
- Don’t interrupt – Many times the speaker merely wants to be “heard”, so resist the temptation to put your two cents in too quickly
- Mirror what the other person is saying – A great technique is to restate what you have heard in your own words. For example, once the person has finished speaking, you can respond with “It sounds like what you’re saying is . . . “ This accomplishes a couple of things. It allows you to show the speaker that you have been actually listening. Also, if you didn’t catch the right message the speaker was trying to communicate, this is an opportunity for clarification.
- Maintain eye contact - This one is easy. Don’t be looking around the room. Looking the speaker in the eye shows that you are paying attention and what they have to say is important to you.
- Don’t try to solve problems – Again, many people just need to be “heard”. So resist the temptation to solve the speaker’s problem, unless they specifically ask you for advice.
- Don’t interrupt a “pause” – If a pause arises in the conversation, do not start speaking just because you feel awkward. Use that as a moment to reflect on what the speaker has just said. If you feel that you do not understand some of the points that were just communicated, you can then use that as an opportunity to ask any questions that might arise in your head.
- Don’t judge - Once you start judging the speaker, you lose the title of a “good” listener.
These tips for becoming a better listener are pretty simple to understand, but like any skill require practice to become skilled at.
Stay connected.
Posted by joey c 
Posted by joey c 
Posted by joey c 





